Got a question? Need some assistance in overcoming a challenge? No problemo! Just post your questions/comments to Michelle today and she will respond within 48 hours.
    

    

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QUESTION

Karen: Tuesday, September 16, 2008 8:51 PM

I so relate to your blogs. I feel like I have been in those women’s shoes. I have been abused and molested and turned towards an eating disorder and hurting myself. Yes we have to move on but the abuse is very hard to get past. In my work I have clients who also were abused and molested as a child and so they turned to hurting themselves and disordered eating. Sometimes it’s too hard to put all that in the past. I have trouble with it too. But I have my clients look to better times in their lives and work towards bringing in that positive behavior that will get them through.

Is there anything else you can suggest?

ANSWER

Michelle: Wednesday, September 17, 2008 06:11 AM

Hi Karen, thank you for your question. I’m sure there are many women (unfortunately) who can empathize with your story and are wondering the same thing. I agree with you, that extreme emotional trauma such as sexual/physical abuse can be extremely difficult to heal from – but is it impossible? No I don’t believe so. While I have not been sexual abused in my life I have experienced many forms of abuse from severe physical abuse to emotional and psychological abuse. I found it really tough initially to move on from my feelings of resentment, guilt, hurt and shame. For years I was an angry and confused person. The way I eventually overcame my past (and by this I mean healing my past, not burying it somewhere deep pretending it never happened) was by choosing to firstly forgive myself and everyone associated with my past (boy was this tough! But it did it and so can you and your clients). Secondly I chose to seek out the positive reasons as to why I had to experience what I did. Now you may thinking - there can be no positive reason for why someone should have to experience abuse? But there is! And it’s different for everyone. You see for me, if I had not gone through what I experienced I could not be the person I am today, doing what it is I am doing. Oh sure, I could get all pissed off and say “why me?” Why did I have to go through all that pain when others didn’t – but what would that serve? Nothing. It does me no good to compare myself to others, remain angry and bitter, and I add no value to the world that I live in by being this way. What I suggest to you and maybe you can suggest this to your clients also, is to first start by imagining that there WAS a positive reason for your past and to list what all those things might be. Seek to find gratitude inside your experience. Look at Oprah Winfrey as an example! A perfect example of someone who EMBRACED her past, did not sweep it under the rug, but used her past to overcome adversity and become a champion of change and possibility for others. Karen you can do this too! You ARE doing it already! It’s one of the god-given reasons why you are here! I mean look at what you are achieving already with your life? YOU create a space for other women to undergo healing do you not? That’s amazing! YOU are amazing! There aren’t many people who could do this. If you hadn’t experienced what you had, how would you serve these women?... Secondly, I suggest embracing the idea of forgiveness. Make a list of all the people in your past to which you hold resentment or anger (yes, even the ones who hurt you greatly) and one by one forgive them. PLEASE ADD YOURSELF TO THAT LIST! For you are the one you need to forgive most. If you believe in a Higher Power or God, ask that power to assist you in your healing. Then when you ask, also prepare to let go and surrender to what happens next. Lastly I’d like to recommend a brilliant new book called Thank God I by John Castagnini. Thank God I is a collection of stories from people who have experienced extreme hardship in their lives and who have found a way to feel grateful for their experiences. There will be stories in this book you will relate to. I know this may seem an absurd concept at first (feeling grateful for sexual abuse – what the?!) but please read the book first before forming any judgments. Karen you CAN and you WILL find a way that’s right for you to use your past to your advantage thus allowing you to live a more blissful and peaceful life. I know you can do this and I will hold the space for you until you get there. I believe in you and I thank you greatly for sharing.

QUESTION

Andrea: Friday, August 29, 2008 5:55 PM

Hi Michelle, I heard you speak a few months back at a Zonta Awards ceremony here in Valencia. You were gracious enough to give everyone attending a copy of your book. The book has become my bible with many highlighted paragraphs. I am at this very moment going through a very rough time financially. I've been using your practices now but I feel like whenever I fully trust in myself and absolute truth, i.e., laws of attraction I get another bad phone call re my finances or something else will happen to kick me back down again. I want to give up but I tell myself not to but I feel like I'm climbing uphill on quicksand. Am I not ready for your teachings? I pray not to, I want to believe so badly but I feel like every time I do I am knocked down a couple of notches. Am I the only one that this happens to? Can you offer an additional advice? I would appreciate it very badly. I don't want to give up like I normally do. I want to believe that I can overcome my current obstacle. Thank you Michelle, you are an angel! Thanks, Andrea

ANSWER

Michelle: Sunday, August 31, 2008 10:10 AM

Hi Andrea, Thank you for contacting me and for you very generous comments about my book. I am grateful for the feedback. In response to your concerns, let me first start out by staying that you ARE ready for these teachings. Life does not happen by accident. You have my book in your hot little hands for a wonderful reason my friend - YOU ARE MORE THAN READY FOR THESE TEACHINGS! J That said; let me address your questions.... Do other people experience what you are going through? Absoluuuuutely and all the time. J These teachings take time and practice. It's unrealistic to expect total transformation overnight. The fact you are now consciously AWARE of what's happening where before you were not, is a HUGE leap forward in the right direction. This is how transformation begins… with conscious awareness, one step at a time. You are halfway there girlfriend! You should feel proud! Where your finances are concerned, I am going to assume (as I don’t have all the facts – we haven’t spoken in detail about your unique situation) that what’s happening is an UNCONSCIOUS mental block which keeps getting in the way of your desired outcomes. What I mean by this is that there is obviously something occurring (be it a deep-seated belief, emotional block or values conflict) deep in the subconscious that you are not yet aware of, therefore giving this unconscious block the ability to energetically interfere with the process of the Laws of Attraction. This is what I experience MOST FREQUENTLY with my clients when they are stuck in a situation they can’t seem to push through. As I say in my book, we are only 5% aware of why we do the things we do! That means 95% of our motivation is unconscious. Yikes! What I suggest to help overcome this temporary hurdle is doing some meditation (taking some quiet time) to tap into what these unconscious blocks might be. You could re-read the chapters in my book on emotions, beliefs and values. You might also like to consider what feelings arise when you think about money? What immediate thoughts and beliefs spring to mind? Do you think “Oh no, I’m going to go into debt!” or “I’ll never get out of this financial hole!” Become aware of what you are repeatedly telling yourself and the universe that might be interfering in you getting what you want. Remember: “what you think about, you bring about and you get in life what you focus on!” Start with the above then let me know how you get on. In addition, we are soon to launch a new introductory special that might interest you; three 45min coaching sessions with either myself or one of my coaches for only $197. This is a phenomenal offer as one flexi session with our coaches is usually $250 an hour. Andrea, thank you for sharing with me. Your story helps others in similar situations to know that they are not alone. I hope this response shines some positive light on your situation. Feel free to contact me again. Love and light! To your success! Michelle

BTW – are you a member of The Armstrong Club? This may interest you also. The Armstrong Club is our new online community. Membership is free. You can create your own profile, network, connect with likeminded folk, share ideas, brainstorm and be kept up to date on what’s happening at The Armstrong Method. You can also access great tips and strategies employed by other members to expedite their success. Click here to join. Have a beautiful, blessed day.

QUESTION

Scott: Friday, August 8, 2008 12:07 PM

How do you deal with anxiety attacks after having and beating cancer? Daily routines seem more vivid than they did before.

ANSWER

Michelle: Friday, August 8, 2008 7:33 PM

Hi Scott, Thank you for your question. While I have not experienced cancer, I used to suffer anxiety attacks on a daily basis when I was suffering depression in my teens and early twenties. I empathize with you greatly because I remember how horrible my anxiety attacks used to make me feel. The fear can be so debilitating can’t it? The first step to beating anxiety is to understand exactly what anxiety is – an overwhelming response to feelings of fear. Are you aware of what are afraid of? I know when I was experiencing anxiety, my fears changed daily but they were as a result of an underlying fear, which for me was a fear of not living to my true potential (I spent most of my younger years trying to hide my true self), and then dying with regret. You mentioned you had cancer – can you share with me what type of cancer you had and how you see your cancer experience is linked to your anxiety? The way I eventually overcame my anxiety was to take a good and honest look at my fears, where they originated, and how I was perpetuating my fear by what I chose to repeatedly focus on, think about and believe. I chose to believe I was creating my anxiety and that my anxiety was actually something positive – that it was a message telling me something in my life wasn’t working - that my life was not in harmony and I needed to make some changes. I also took the following steps which don’t work for everyone but I suggest giving them a go to see what works for you. Have a go at implementing three or more of these steps then email me back in a few days and let me know how you are getting on. I’ll hold you in my thoughts until then.

You can and you will overcome this. Just start one step at a time. Michelle

1. Find a good coach, hypnotherapist or psychologist who you can talk to about your anxiety/fear who won’t prescribe you medication as the sole solution, which can be helpful in some instances but in the long run is most often not the answer. MOST IMPORTANT for you Scott is to learn as much as you can about your fear and what it’s trying to tell you.

2. Recognize that unless you are in immediate danger, your fears ARE NOT REAL. They are simply a fabrication inside the mind. Once you can master and manipulate your mind (i.e. what you think and focus on) you can shift your emotional state with conscious volition. If you want more information about emotional management grab a copy of my book as I provide some simple techniques.

3. Learn some breathing and relaxation techniques that you can immediately apply whenever you feel an anxiety attack coming on. When you can learn to master your thinking and focus you will find you can minimize the intensity of your anxiety very quickly.

4. Try hypnosis – it was a HUGE help for me and for many people it creates fabulous results.

5. Practice living in the now – recognize the past is something you CANOOT change and the future hasn’t happened yet. All that is real is now and you can only control THIS MOMENT.

6. Pay close attention to your diet. Certain foods and drinks have been known to trigger/intensity states of anxiety – caffeine, chocolate, cigarettes, alcohol, sugars, etc. I observed that my anxiety would increase if I consumed lot of sugar. If you notice a trigger, eliminate or reduce it from your diet.

7. Exercise as much as you can. Studies have shown that regular exercise reduces both anxiety and depression.

8. Recognize you CAN control your mind and emotional states. Your mind does not control you. Keep a journal of your thoughts. If you find your thoughts are negative and/or are causing you to feel anxious, write new thoughts and repeat these new thoughts daily until they become habitual.

9. As soon as you become anxious, journal your thoughts and feelings. Get them out of your head and down on paper.

10. Try mediation or yoga classes. Studies have shown that yoga and mediation can also assist to reduce anxiety.

11. If you are taking any medication – check with your doctor to see if your medication has side effects. Belief it or not, I used to take the contraceptive pill and the effect it had on my hormones would trigger anxiety. As soon as I found that out I immediately went off the pill and sought alternative options.

12. Lastly, when an anxiety attack strikes, tell yourself that it’s temporary and it WILL pass. Practice slow and steady breathing and instead of focusing on the fear your feel, distract yourself but engaging in another behavior such as reading, writing, listening to music, walking etc.